He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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