a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize