3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
