Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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