My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
