yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So many bounce houses so little time
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
