i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
