We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
