508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
