So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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