six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
