Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so let's talk penis.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
