people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
