You work out of a Hotel?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
