I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize