Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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