people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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