Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
