I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
