Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
