see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
