i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
