he thought i was a dude.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
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We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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