The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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