i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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