you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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