ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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