i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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