You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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