In the future we'll all be gay
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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