summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
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I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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