Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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