holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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