Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
