oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you had me at cake vodka
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
