sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
