I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
