can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You're like the curious george of whores
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
