Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
