I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
