I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
