Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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