Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
