Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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