You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
