She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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