I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it's like iHOP with fire
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
