I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
