I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
