yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize