Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
