don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
