this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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