You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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