We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
