all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
