ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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