i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
