If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
